10 Less-Obvious Things I Wish I Didn’t Have to Discuss with My Kids

I’m sure all parents, along with the rest of the adult population, would agree with me that life contains plenty of elements we wish we didn’t have to talk about with the young people in our lives. Beyond the topics that simply feel uncomfortable, there are so many things we wish didn’t exist at all. So to have to discuss them with a younger generation is painful in multiple ways.

But the Internet is full of conversations on the big topics in this category, and sometimes a person needs to take a break and spend a little time on the lighter side. So rather than add more talk of things like violence, substance abuse, racism, illness, and corruption, today I’m going to focus on a few topics that go beyond the obvious yet plague many.


1. TV dinners

There is just so much that’s disturbing here.


2. Why their 2nd-grade artwork is not hanging on the wall

A matter that is surprisingly delicate, considering the sheer volume of material. So many feelings at stake!


3. What makes gloves important in subzero weather

I just can’t, in good conscience, leave this one to learning by experience. But I’m tempted.


4. Why some mothers [ahem] are so…squishy

After all, it is kind of the kids’ fault.


5. Why I can’t help them with their math homework

I always got A’s in math, always. I’m smart. I really am. But they do it differently now, and apparently we have some sort of language barrier. I wasn’t prepared for my multiplication skills to become obsolete!


6. The Seventies

You just can’t explain what you don’t understand yourself.


7. Why R.E.M. & The Cure (and so many others) seemed so awesome at one time

I’m not sure anymore…They kind of sound terrible.


8. Why it is not appropriate to wear the same sweatshirt to school for a week

I just feel this should be self-evident.


9. What a person should and should not shave and why

This is a highly irrational subject, and distressing for all concerned.


10. Why boys behave as they do

I can’t explain. I really can’t.


What would you add to the list?


  1. Pam Shoup says:

    I love these, Amy! And I came of age in the ’70s. I can relate. Here’s mine: How to respond when your grade-school age daughter asks, “What is a menage a trois?” because she just heard it on TV! Yes, that happened, and yes, I gave some stupid response, like ,”It’s something you never want to do.” Parents need do-overs sometimes.

© 2016 Amy Simpson.