14 Things I’d Like to See in My Stocking This Year

1. an invisibility cloak

2. an all-expenses-paid (for two) two-week tour of European capitals

3. a lunch date with Flannery O’Connor, Amelia Earhart, and Harriet Tubman

4. a peace accord between me and all bugs, in which I agree not to kill them in their home and they agree to stay away from mine

5. a portable expandable house like the one Richie Rich carried around with him (always wanted one of those things)

6. a domesticated fox

7. all the books Alexander McCall Smith hasn’t written yet

8. a coupon I can use to stop the world for a day while I catch up

9. a year’s supply of Trader Joe’s natural peanut butter (I just can’t get enough of that stuff)

10. a dog translator that works like the one in the movie Up

11. an endless supply of fresh homegrown tomatoes (also known as “real tomatoes with flavor”)

12. home movies of my grandparents when they were kids

13. an alarm clock that pulls me out of bed and makes a healthy breakfast

14. tickets to someplace warm in early February

Merry Christmas!